126.6

Nope. I was wrong. P is concerned. He doesn't want to see me "unhealthy" or end up in the hospital.

I'm planning out my "meals" because he's so worried I will stop eating. But the plus side is that if I make a plan he will help me stick to it. That will be put to the test today, because my plan is 450 calories. Will he be ok with that? We're going on a picnic for dinner where I will be eating a rice cake and 2 slices of turkey. If he tries to make me eat more than that I swear I will punch him in the face.

And yes, you read that title correctly. I ate 1200 calories yesterday and lost a pound. I have a sneaking suspicion that it's water weight or something though because I feel FAT today. 

<3

20 pounds in 2 months?

520 cals yesterday = 127.6 today

why can't i do that ever day?!?!?

already had 800 cals today. fail.

trudging on with ABC: no more food today and 300 cals tomorrow.

day1: 500 calories (520... close enough)
day2: 500 calories
3:300 calories
4:400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800
32: fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: fast

yea we'll see.

Oh p.s. I told P everything about my eating habits last night. He took is surprisingly well. He doesn't think I have an ED (thank god for that) and he doesn't think it's a huge problem (except when I fast for long periods of time). He wants to see me healthy, but I don't think he's too concerned. It's perfect!


<3

Ana Boot Camp

Ladies and lovers, Red has returned!

I apologize profusely for leaving you, I didn't do it consciously. P makes me want to be healthy. But I've seen the error of my ways; fat people are inherently unhealthy. Skinny first, then healthy. I caught up on all 200-some posts that I missed and will resume commenting today!


So anyway... down to business.

I've been eating "normally" which means I've been pigging out like the whale I am (1000-1500 cals every day) and to top it all off, I HAVEN'T BEEN TRACKING ANY OF IT!!!! This is big time bad news because I had a mild anxiety attack about it last night. But the new me will stress, then get real and pep talk myself into changing the stressor. No more wallowing in self pity. If I feel fat then 1) it's entirely my fault and 2) I have the power to change it. I blame this new thought process on P. :D

128.8 this morning.
Balls.

Created a new SparkPeople account in the spirit of starting over. (If you guys don't have a sparkpeople account, I highly recommend signing up- it's a free super tracking program!)

Starting ABC today. Activia light and a slice of turkey so far today. 100 cals.

Also joined AnaB's twitter ring. Hopefully it will help me avoid those bingey pitfalls.




Ana Banana gave me the Beautiful Blogger award nearly a month ago and I've yet to respond! What atrocious manners!

So here it is... 7 things you don't know about me:
1. I will lie to make myself more interesting (but not to you guys!)
2. My mom had a heart transplant last January. I'll post that story another time- it's a long one
3. I fake orgasms. Always.
4. I'm an only child.
5. I used to be really smart. Then I lost all will power and stopped trying. I bet I could still get a 4.0 if I actually applied myself. (I did manage a 3.7 last semester though! yay!)
6. I've tried to kill myself 4 times.
7. I actually WANT to get pregnant and drop out of college and start a family. As long as P sticks around :p

Oh man.

*drumroll please* And I nominate...
Ana Banana
Scarlet
Charlie
Charr
PrettyWreck

I know some of you have gotten it before (and I'm not sure I'm allowed to give it to you again but I don't care because you ALL deserve it!) I love you all.

Stay strong skinnies <3

SORRY!!!!

i've been so ridiculously busy i can't even think straight!

stuck at 128.

loving P more and more every day.

i'll come back with a proper update in the next few days, promise!

i still love you all

the good, the bad, and the ugly

P and I are officially dating :D

Good.


127.2 this morning. I'm confused. I think I need a new scale.

Bad.


Had a small bowl of Kashi with skim milk this morning. 200 cals. Not a liquid.

Ugly.


Juice fasting the rest of the day... 200 calories of good-for-you cereal isn't any reason to throw the rest of the day away. I'm going bikini shopping when I hit 125, and I have this one already picked out that I want. Hurray for goals/rewards/bribing yourself!


Charlie: Thank you for the confidence my dear! I know I can do it, too. I just have to kick myself in the arse to make sure it gets done!
Scarlet: The more the merrier! I think it's doable once I get myself on that routine. It's starting it that will be the hardest part I think.
Ana Banana: Water fasting completely screwed with my system from day 2 on. I'm hoping I can confuse my metabolism enough that I can avoid said screwing this time around ;) And I know me saying this won't change a damn thing, but you do NOT need to torture yourself to get what you want (says the one who tortures herself...) Ugh! Why do we keep coming back to this life?

#30

So sorry for the lack of posting and commenting. I haven't forgotten you guys, I've just been distracted.



Fasting went to hell in a hand basket the last few days...

Weighed 128.4 this morning. swliuhwaelbdfmngwbergsdfkjlfuck

I'm starting afresh today. Water fasting is too difficult to keep up for any length of time with my nonexistent will-power, so here's my new plan:
Water fast for one day
Liquid fast for one day (~500 cals)
Repeat until the scale reads 108


I think I can
I think I can
I think I can

Day 3

126.8 this morning. I'm not even excited about it because it isn't 125. And it isn't even close to 108.

I'm fasting till I hit 125, then I'll liquid fast for a few days, then just restrict. I hate this feeling. I have no energy whatsoever and I feel weak. I can't concentrate, I'm not interested in anything. My body is revolting.

No pain today- no heartburn, no cramps, no twisted up stomach. Is this ketosis?

P told me I was beautiful last night. He's never said that.





He also said he was too afraid of breaking my heart to date me.