Hazy

This must be what it's like when your body starts eating itself. I'm running on nothing but caffeine. I'm cold and tired but it's like a weird high that I'm riding... I love being hungry. I love that my body is fueling itself. I love that I'm burning fat by just sitting here.

I've had 20 calories today, and it's all been Crystal Light. I'll have to eat dinner, but I'm hoping they'll have good soup today. I can fake stress-induced nausea since it's so close to finals.

Discovered the wonder that is Skins last night. I can relate to so many of the season 1 cast it's ridiculous. I'm PMSing so I was reduced to tears several times by watching a bunch of teenagers trot around Bristol living bits and pieces of my life. I watched the entire season. (slightly shameful, but I'm not ashamed. It gave me the strength for today's fast)

I was 132 this morning. And here's why: I ate an entire pizza yesterday.

Did you get that? I ate a whole fucking pizza by myself IN ONE SITTING. And then I couldn't even purge it. And then I cried.

Today's fast was supposed to be punishment (I'm trying not to eat (and abuse my diet pills)until the wedding on Saturday) but I feel so guilty because I'm loving this feeling.

But I am loving this feeling. I think I'm going to boycott food altogether.

Like Cassie.